I'm not going to justify here why I did not go, but I will say that until you spend some time in my classroom, you do not have the right to say anything about what I do with my kids.
Why is it that the people that are supposed to support me....friends, family are the ones that consistently knock me down and then kick me.
I hate people. I hate that people are causing me to question my ability to do what I do. I hate that people have caused me to feel so lost. I hate that I don't know who I am, but have a pretty good idea of who I'm not. I hate that I was terrified today when I walked into the bandroom and saw the one person I could live the rest of my life without seeing ever again. And I hate that the things that he did to me in the past still affect me today. Most of all, I hate that I have allowed this to happen. I hate that I am so insecure that I am questioning all of these things. I hate that someday everything he and my parents said will come true. And I hate for the 4th night in a row, I will cry myself to sleep.
Only you know what is best for your kids, and whatever reason why you did not take them to contest today was by your own judgment the best thing to do. Don't let others tell you what you should and should not do. Although I do not have a classroom full of kids I do have a child of my own and have many people telling me "what do you think you're doing?, you should do this or that..." Only YOU know what is best. No one else matters. Are they the ones with a music degree? I don't think so. Pick the people you want to take advice from and go with that. :)
ReplyDeleteNot many people can say this, but I understand. Seriously, I understand.
ReplyDeleteI hope things get better for you and that people support you whether they agree with you or not. People need to realize that you're doing what you believe is in the best interest of your students. I applaud you for sticking to what you believe is right. Keep up the good work!
This is judgement #1 for this post...you should have labeled it "I HATE EVERYTHING"
ReplyDeleteLUV LE
I hate that you're having such an awful time with all this, and yes I know...I need to update too.
ReplyDeleteLove ya sis, hope things start heading up-up-up!!